Entry 05: Are you an Achiever?
It's easier to do than to teach.
I’ve always been an achiever. I loved getting gold stars on my homework in school. I thrive on setting goals and working to accomplish them. It’s been a valuable skill that has driven me to do things that others only talk about like writing, illustrating & self-publishing a kid’s book, starting a podcast and running multiple half marathons. If you are like me, this mentality has probably served you well in your career in terms of growth, but it will also been the thing that will make this third leadership shift difficult for you like it was for me: the shift from player to coach.
The Star Player vs. The Head Coach
Picture yourself as a star player on a sports team, someone who dominates the game with skill, drive, and execution. Your value is measured by how well you perform, how many points you score, and how much you contribute directly to the game. You are running plays and getting the accolades when they succeed. You are good and leadership knows it. So they elevate you to head coach. Because if you know how to play the game as well as you do, surely you will be able to teach others how to do it. But you soon realize that coaching is very different than executing the plays. You are no longer simply evaluated on your performance, but also on the performance of your team. As a coach, you are responsible for showing people who don’t know the game as well as you do how to play. And that takes time. A lot more time than you think it should. And there are days when you watch your team run these plays and think ‘it would be so much easier if I did it.’ If you are honest, there is also a part of you that misses scoring the goals. Sometimes it makes you question why you took the head coaching role in the first place.
If that scenario rings true for you, you are in good company. If I am being honest, when I first became a leader, it was simply another thing for me to achieve. The next step on the ladder of growth I was on. I didn’t know how to coach and so when the team didn’t get it immediately, I would simply throw on the cape and save the day. I would just do it myself, like I always had when I was just a player. Which worked…kinda. I got the task done, but when that task came up again, I had to be the one to do it. Because I never took the time to delegate my tasks and then coach my team through it, they became reliant on me to keep actively fighting the fires of today for them. I became a crutch for my team, stifling their growth and my own.
“A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.”
— John C. Maxwell
The Second Mountain
It took a while for me to realize that my need to achieve, was holding me back from being the coach I needed to be. One book that helped shift my perspective was The Second Mountain by David Brooks. Brooks presents an idea that there are two mountains that people climb in life. The first is the culturally accepted mountain of achievement. It’s what we are trained to do as kids. But when you get to the top of this mountain, you think ‘is that all?’ Then you realize there is another mountain. One of significance. Climbing that mountain focuses on impact and service to others. This is the mountain that true coaches choose to climb. And that’s the mountain I wanted to climb.
The Leadership Shift
Knowing I wanted to make an impact, I felt the weight of not actually knowing how to coach someone else. While I was good at playing the game, I realized that I was never taught how to coach. I began consuming books & podcasts about how to coach that helped me realize a pivotal point: coaching isn’t about knowing everything, it’s about knowing what questions to ask. You see, I thought coaching was giving step by step instructions on how to do things the way that I would do them, and then critiquing them until they did it right. But unless you are hiring clones who think exactly like you, this will always end in frustration and keep you in an endless circle of criticism.
The best coaches don’t just give instructions; they teach their team how to think strategically about their tasks. And the best way to do this: ask the right questions.
A Real Life Example:
I am currently leading a team so I am actively trying to put what I preach into practice. Recently I transitioned an email newsletter to a new team member who is relatively young in her career. We had an initial discussion and she took a first crack at putting it together. It was off. Way off. So we jumped in a conference room to talk through it. The Player in me wanted to just tell her what was wrong and have her make the necessary changes. But then I would have to do that on every newsletter going forward. Instead, I asked her some of these questions to help her think through what needed to change:
Who are we sending this email to?
What do they want to do to succeed in their role?
What would need to be in this newsletter to help them do that?
As we talked through these questions, she began to learn the strategy without me having to lay it out on the whiteboard. Was the next version she brought back perfect? No, but it was much better and had less edits. My ultimate goal is to have her run with these newsletters without much of my involvement and I am slowing down up front to help her move through the stages of delegation the right way.
🪞 Reflection: Am I Coaching Enough?
Here are some questions that will help you think through where you fall on this leadership slider:
Am I more focused on my personal accomplishments or those of my team?
Do I feel like I need to personally handle the toughest tasks, or am I developing others to take on those challenges?
Am I providing guidance, feedback, and mentorship to my team, or am I primarily focused on my own execution?
How often do I just do the work because I know I will get it done faster (and probably) better?
Wrapping Up…
Coaching is a critical skill you need to develop as a new leader. The best leaders don’t just shine individually; they create an environment where their entire team thrives. Coaching isn’t easy and takes more time than just telling your team what to do. But if you figure out how to lean into this skill, you and your team, will thrive.
🗓️ Next week: From Collaborating to Empowering.
Keep Leading. See you next week!
Kacy @ Drawn to Lead
Additional Book & Sketchnote on Coaching
I’ve created a sketchnote for paid subscribers of the 7 key questions to ask that will turn your 1:1’s into a coaching session inspired by a great book all new leaders should read.